The Sound of Silence


回家的時候,跟弟說起revision playlist,他說Simon & Garfunkel的音樂很適合做背景音樂。我很驚訝,因為除了聽巴哈/韋華第/韓德爾的弦樂之外,我也聽他們的歌溫習。果然是兩姐弟。

Simon & Garfunkel當然不是我們這代人的歌,但是父親很喜歡。他說小時候英文還說不好的時候就會背他們的歌詞了,因為那時候大伯父剛工作賺了點錢,買了一部vinyl機回來狂播,父親小時候就是聽他們的歌長大的了。所以家裡不是母親播放古典音樂的時候,就是Simon & Garfunkel。

一聽到Sound of Silence或者Scarborough Fair,我就想起小時候在香港坐著那架藍色的福特房車,爸媽很喜歡放假的時候帶我們去郊外玩(那時候覺得離開了香港島和九龍就是郊外啦):去大埔墟找姨姨和姨父燒烤、去清水灣玩水、去西貢「遊車河」⋯⋯一家人跟著唱片大合唱,很快樂。(父親請專心駕車!)說起小時候,有時候我也會懷念有菲傭姐姐的日子,不用自己煮飯洗碗做家務多好啊,可是如果我還在那個環境,大概會去開微波爐加熱杯麵吧。想到這裡,又想去弄蛋糕了。



幾年前在香港,母親說想看電影,我們就去看《激戰》。聽到Ania的版本,畫面是張家輝飾演的賤輝在澳門訓練準備參加MMA的畫面。那時候只覺得好熱血啊。近日看書看得有點氣餒,加上大家又有轉貼學舌鳥的《激戰獅子山》,忽然很想再看看original。



結果看得熱淚盈眶。

對囉,我只想為自己做一點事情,不求別人明白。不要令自己後悔。

這個禮拜準備考試準備得有點瘋狂,情緒極不穩定,常常看一下書忽然哭起來,是那種生怕別人聽到的抽泣。我想說無論是願意聽我胡言亂語,還是有這裡留過言的你們,很感謝你們。我發現每次極度谷底的時候就會出現很多天使,報大學時試過,最近找工作方面也是,我不是孤獨面對,那很重要。大學之後我被當作是保姆之後,人變得越來越冷漠,好像失去了維繫感情的動力和能力。所以每次有人主動關心我,我都幾乎感動得馬上哭出來。真的,I'm very blessed and I know it. I don't know why I deserve so much love. After all I'm not the best person for keeping in touch, neither have I done anything spectacular to deserve this. But I guess this is probably the best kind of love and care you can get from human beings. Earthly love has its limitations but has not lost its ability to touch someone deep down in their heart. 

(Please forgive me for switching to English out of nowhere. Sometimes I find it harder to express my emotions in Chinese. I am definitely a different person when I speak a different language.)

***

Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
'Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools," said I, "You do not know –
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you.
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sound of silence.

(Lyrics from AZLyrics.com)

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